Blogpost 4: An Unhealthy Combination of Gossip and Relationship

                     “_ _ _ _ _ is in a relationship!, status we commonly see in the most used social networking site which is Facebook. Perhaps, those people who post this kind of status want to express and share to their friends what’s the feeling if you’re in a relationship. That heaven feeling that most likely lifts up their heart and makes them feel so glad. But maybe, there comes a time that this heaven feeling will turn into a horrible one which causes so much pain and hurt especially in their heart. One factor that mostly affects the relationship is the spreading of rumors that could possibly separate the two persons loving each other. Gossipers could probably bring conflicts and problems that cause hatred and sometimes lead to break-ups.

                  I had a friend who’s in relationship right now. Though we’re not classmates in college now, I’m always updated with the status of their relationship. She’s a close friend of mine that’s why she trusts me since then. As time goes by, I was surprised when she called me through cellphone and I knew she was crying that time. I asked her what’s happening and told me that they are not sweethearts anymore and lead to a break-up. It almost breaks her heart and I can’t help but to comfort her by giving some motivation to move on. I asked for the reason, she told me it’s because of the rumors she knew about his boyfriend. She found out that he is a two timer and had a relationship with another. As of now, she has no idea if the rumors she heard before are true and proven. As a friend, I just told her that it’s not yet the end of her life. There are lots of fish out there and God has a better plan for her.

(c) definitelyfilipino

          On the other hand, gossips really bring conflicts in the relationship and even separate the lovers. I've read an article entitled "Rumours that broke a marriage" by Mark Reynolds at Daily Mail website. Even though the story I've shared is not that the same with news/article, it is somehow similar with the major effect of gossips and rumors in different type relationship. In this article, there is a married couple named Susannah and Glen. Rumors are starting to break their relationship when Susannah's husband had a friend, Nicole. Nicole and Glen were became partners in a movie entitled Tomb Raider. They had a scene where they're naked and the closeness between them started. On the other hand, rumors began that they had an affair. The speculation grew bigger when Mr. Glen started to comfort Nicole after her break-up of marriage with Tom Cruise. Susannah and Glen made some attempts in saving their relationship but Mr. Glen's agent announced the split and later confirmed Ms. Susannah's spokesperson. Susannah and Nicole are still friends and the gossips don't affect their friendship.

                    Just like what Glen said,  "In any relationship you have good times and bad times." During these times, make the best out of it and have the best results even if in bad times because it makes your relationship even stronger and tougher. 

             It's miserable when gossip causes too much damage in your relationship. Now we know that even you're married, there are still possibilities that it can be broken. You can be separated and hate each other. It may not be easy to rescue your relationship but it takes a long time before it can be saved and back to normal again. Talk to each other's side and listening to it allow the couple to mend the situation and discuss to make their kinship work. Next is to forgive each other. Show the love and concern for each other and once it happens, never to blame and talk the problems because it only heat the things up and result will not be likely so good. These tips can help you a lot and mend the broken relationship.

(c) db18

               Another article discussed how gossips truly affect the relationship we had. At first, we talked about the broken marriage or the relationship with your partner but this time another kinship had been devastated - all about FAMILY relationship. This article is entitled "Destructive Gossip: Poison to Family Relationships" authored by Barbara Lee Norris.  From the title itself, you see the word "destructive gossip" and could be devastating to family relationships. It's like a poison who kills the love and concern in the whole family. According to the article, it tells about a child who feels he is being neglected by his family and his siblings who outshine him. This child is Flo, the gossiper. The victim of the destructive gossip named Mo, a child at the same time as Flo. Flo can't see any positive about Mo. He thinks that Mo is always favored by his parents and relatives. For him, Mo is always the best and Mo just keeps stealing the thunder. Flo finds faults with him and wants to disrepute him in every possible way. But the problem about Flo is that he never feels any better. 

              In order to achieve the status he longed for, Flo finally pulls out the big guns-- destructive gossip. Undoubtedly, Flo actually knows where and how to start. Listening to the destructive gossips do not verify the accusations. Mo has been accused unfortunately with gossips made by Flo and he can't do anything even a chance to defend himself. Flo's deed is painful enough especially to Mo. The story is not yet the end, of course, Mo has something to do with this matter. Mo ignores the gossip and still hopes that it will pass away. 

          "Destructive gossip is always wrong". There is no justification for destructive gossip and the subsequent shunning of family member. This is true because once you spread gossips or rumors, it become destructive to an individual's feelings or to the person being talked about. Of course, our family loves us so much and treated fairly. Back to the story, to settle the problem, Mo doesn't want to do the same just like what Flo did. It only makes the situation worse if he do the same thing. He badly knows that Flo's hurts and feels that he is just being protective. Mo only wants to restore their family relationship.   

(c) afiezzidzzam

          When Mo had a time to talk with Flo, he grabbed the opportunity. Unfortunately, Flo denies everything and keeps a frigid distance. With this response by Flo, it only means that gossipers tend to be cowards when they're in front of the person they have accused. At the end, Flo gives up because it doesn't work anymore. He tried to have a relationship with Flo but I guess it is Flo who has a big problem. Mo only lets it rest though he is grieved by situation.

(c) dreamstime

   As stated by Ms. Barbara, "Gossipers cannot be stopped. The recipient of destructive gossip has to rise above the pain." Don't be too much affected with the gossips or rumors. Be strong and always be true to yourself. If you've experienced being talked about, refrain from utilizing the same tactics as spreading destructive gossips because it's a wrong thing . Let us put our trust to God and above all, live well. The greatest revenge you can take is to live well and have a happy life.

        All in all, a mix of gossips and relationships is indeed unwholesome and unpleasant. Gossips destroy everything. As much as possible, don't do anything which hurts people emotionally such as spreading destructive gossips. 

      We are all humans with defects, flaws and negative attitudes. And if we have done anything wrong, learn to accept our mistake and promise to do good to others and for the betterment of ourselves.